SHARING A LAUGH WITH HOWARD MENAPACE WAS ALWAYS SPECIAL...

Sometimes you are sitting with someone you care for a lot, and you both know it might not be long before you cannot longer see each other again face to face. It is an awkward moment and look for the "right" words to express a sincere, "I have really enjoyed knowing you and the times we spent together. You really helped make my life a little better (as he did so many others)...." but nothing comes to mind. Perhaps there aren't any "right words", and silence becomes the voice that says, "It's OK, I know what you are thinking, and I enjoyed knowing you too. We can talk about something else". I felt like that two weeks ago when I visited Mr. Howard Menapace at his home in Gallup.

As most everyone knows by now, Mr. Menapace was very ill and passed on last Friday the 12th. I was lucky enough to have visited him on a day that was much better for him than most in the recent past. The physical pain of the horrible disease that was eating him from the inside out seemed to have subsided at least for a few hours, and he looked comfortable enough to carry a long conversation. Yesterday (Tuesday) I was about to ask family permission to go visit him again when one of his grandsons informed me that he had passed on last Friday.

On the day of the visit, as it was always his way, he made it very easy on the other side to have a conversation, which he unselfishly always made it about someone or something else. Though in the end, we spoke for nearly 90 minutes, it only felt like 5. Too quick, too short and not enough time to share all that you have in mind. We spoke about kids, family, pictures (he evidently loved pictures of all his family to be very visible all over the house), dogs, Gallup, Rico Motors and how it started, how I came to Gallup, about his ranch, his hunting days, my girls, his golf game and, yes, our rounds together (fewer than I would have liked). He found it funny -and I find ironic-, and we both laughed, when I told him I registered Republican when it was a Democrat who actually encouraged me to become an American Citizen.

We also had a good laugh when I told him I had brought him a couple of pictures that I thought he would enjoy having, one of which I told him, was a favorite of mine. With a big smile and a little extra energy that seemed to have taken over him, he said, "I bet I know which one it is!" I told him, "No, it's not that one (I knew which one he meant). I was going to bring that one also, but I couldn't find it", he followed with, "You were going to bring me the one where I threw the club". I corrected him, "Mr. Menapce, we both threw a club. Remember? It was a competition?" He laughed and asked, "who won?" Neither of us could remember.

The "club throwing competition" took place several years ago on Hole #14, during the Special Olympics Pro-Am that Mr. Menapace and his family "title" sponsored for many years, and later co-sponsored with other local businesses. Though part of the team changed from time to time, he never missed one and I always enjoyed his competitiveness. No matter how good or bad he was playing, he wanted to better the next hole. Whatever you do, you always want partners who never give up!

Anyway, it just so happens that Mr. Menapace was pretty much of a perfectionist, and if he could not do something right, or at least didn't perform at the level he thought he should "perform", he would get frustrated. So, if he missed "one too many shots", he tended to release his frustration by throwing a club or two, after which, he usually played much better. I happen to be the same way (except, that as the club professional, I was always supposed to act "professionally" and lead by example) so I knew exactly what he felt.

That day, if memory serves right, he had missed a short putt on #13, and as we got to #14 tee, you could see fire and smoke coming out of his ears. We all knew that he really wanted to throw a club, but was trying to calm down and not do "something inappropriate" by showing "self control". That is when I decided to have a "club throwing competition" (I was not doing so good myself) and offered the challenge, which of course, he immediately took! (Actually, I'm not sure that he would have been the type to ever refuse any challenge).

As I said above, I don't remember who won, but that is unimportant; what is important is that we all laughed, and from there on, he played the last five holes very well, helping us to our best finish ever, a second place (we never won our local pro-am). Truly, if there is one person I wish I would have shared more rounds with, is Mr. Menapace. He really made you feel at ease and enjoy your time with him.

....Oh yes! The pictures! There was no question that family was always "his best friends", and his "personal company". He spelled "golF" with the "F" in front, as in "F-A-M-I-L-Y". I never saw him at the golf course with any local friend, a businessman or strange people as guests. Family was so special to him, that outside the family business and the daily grind, he tried to reserve at least one thing for after business hours, in this case, golf.

When he saw the two 8x10's (his last team in the RMCH in 2008 and his last team for the 2007 Special Olympics Pro-Am), he smiled and said, "These were really good times. I always enjoyed myself. Thanks". No sir, thank you!